Why The Jan. 29 Workshops Are Cancelled

  This is hard to share but you need to know the truth about what happened.

  I've been in shock since getting the diagnosis of the malignant brain tumor. Shock and denial. 

  Yesterday was my birthday and that triggered the grief I didn't realize I was carrying, much less  even begun to deal with. 

   I was at a friend's house and we were discussing the implications of the diagnosis and the things that have to be taken care of and planned for and all I know to tell you is that I just broke. I felt my world and me simply fall apart. The median survival number is 18 months. For the first time, what that means really hit me.  The hard reality threw me against a brick wall and the grief began to pour out of me. Yesterday was the first time I'd cried about it. That's how far I'd pushed it down.

  I knew right then there was no way I could do the workshops. Some of you had questioned if I was ready to start doing them, that maybe I needed to wait a bit, but I didn't understand what you were trying to tell me. I understand now. 

  I apologize for the inconvenience this has probably caused you. The workshops will be rescheduled. The diagnosis does not mean the end of doing the workshops. It means I have some work to do on learning how to handle the grief and come to terms with how things are now. To give up the workshops would mean to give up on me and I refuse to do that. 

   I have checked with Aaron about when he might have a day available to help me. I can't do them without his tech expertise. I also need some time to see how treatment goes and time to work with my 'care team' to get me in a better space.

  Here's what I hope you choose, but you know I'll do whatever you want. I hope you'll give me that time I need and you take the workshop when I send out the rescheduled date. If you'd rather I send you a refund, though, I'll do that. 

   I apologize for the late notice. I couldn't get to the email addresses from my friend's  computer. Both she and Aaron tried to make things work, but it wouldn't. It took me a while to get myself together, but here I am at home now with access to what I need to reach you.

   Last, I would ask you to keep me in your prayers and thoughts in whatever way you can. Making it through the surgery was one thing. Facing what's coming now is something else entirely and I would so value your support. Please don't hesitate to reach out to me because you think you'll 'bother' me. I don't want to lose the connection with anyone. It's more important than even now.

   With love and gratitude,